As I sit here in my warm, quiet office, with a cup of hot tea and a very sassy feline supervisor next to me, my life of relative safety and security is very much at the forefront of my mind.
As I write, Kiev, Ukrania is being surrounded by Russian troops. Innocent people are dying. Children are wielding firearms.
As someone who has historically struggled to maintain my own energetic sovereignty, watching Putin plow over the Ukrainian people has been difficult. No doubt, it’s been difficult for you too.
However, I’m writing this post as a gentle reminder to manage your energy in a way that is supportive of those overseas – and that means maintaining a certain level of emotional or energetic distance.
Their Anxiety Became My Own
Yes, it seems counterintuitive to throttle our emotions under these circumstances. My default used to be to open my heart as wide as I could and wallow in the difficulty with those who were struggling. For some bizarre reason, I felt it was the best way to be supportive – to get “in the trenches” with those who need help.
Predictably, I was routinely blindsided by anxiety that wasn’t mine for reasons I couldn’t even come close to understanding. My life would be floating along just fine. Why was I constantly feeling like something bad was going to happen?
I don’t know about you, but when I’m anxious, I’m not much good to others. I can fake it for a while, but eventually, it tends to catch up to and overwhelm me if I’m not paying attention – at which point I’m just another being in need of support for myself.
I’ve learned to manage the feelings and empathetic connections I feel with others over the years, but that was after decades of being an emotional sponge with no understanding of how to wring myself out.
How to Manage Your Energy
I’m not going to get into details about the many ways to help manage energy – the world doesn’t need yet another ‘how to meditate’ lesson. I will, though, list a few ways you may have already tried – and hopefully – a few you haven’t.
- Keep your defenses up in the first place – surround yourself in protective white light daily
- Remove the energetic cords of others. I think of them as weeds that grow in my mental garden. At least once daily, I completely weed that garden and envision beautiful, loamy soil ready for me to plant my own – positive – ideas and energy.
- Pour your energy into something that contributes to the situation in some way – volunteer, send donations, etc.
- If you must, allow yourself a limited amount of time to sit and process your difficult energy. Set a timer for five or ten minutes. Sit with your thoughts about the situation, feel your feelings around the situation. Then – through whatever visualization you’d like, see yourself sending energy of love, support, positivity, fortitude, or whatever else seems appropriate. Pray if you’d like. Just actively send support. Then —- and this is the hard part — let it go.
It’s Not Cruel to Manage Your Energetic Boundaries – It’s Necessary
When we are able to manage our energetic boundaries, we have the tools and the wherewithal to ensure we always have something in reserve to help others. When we’re allowing ourselves to empathetically or empathically experience what those in crisis are experiencing, we’re actually contributing to the challenges we’re trying to alleviate.
Consider this – you’re a neurosurgeon. You’re operating on an extremely anxious patient. His heart is racing. His mind is whirling. His stomach- if they’d allowed him to eat last night- would be churning. You visit your patient pre-surgery to answer any last-minute questions and in the process, absorb his energy. Now your mind is racing. You begin to question your confidence. You worry there’s something you’re missing….you get the idea.
Now, you’re in no shape to be drilling into someone’s skull. If you had been able to be compassionate and kind while maintaining an emotional and energetic distance, you would have been able to do the surgery with confidence.
It’s that kind, compassionate, strong, emotional distance that will protect you so you can truly be of service in a constructive way.